White envelopes (帛金 / 白包): how much to give and how to present it

What the gift is for

The white envelope is practical help: a contribution toward the wake, the service, and the burial or cremation, offered by relatives, friends, colleagues, and neighbors. It is also a mark of respect, and the family keeps a record of who gave so that the gesture can be returned when the guest's family is in mourning.

Use a plain white envelope. Never use a red envelope, which is for celebrations. Write your name on the envelope so the family can record it; if you are giving on behalf of a company or group, write that name too.

How much to give

Modest amounts are the norm, and the gesture matters more than the sum. In the United States, friends, colleagues, and neighbors often give in the range of $50 to $100; close friends and relatives give more, according to their relationship and means.

Amounts are traditionally odd numbers — $51, $71, $101 — because even numbers are associated with happy occasions and pairs. In Hong Kong and Guangdong custom the amount often ends in one, so that grief “does not come twice.” Avoid amounts with the number four (四), which sounds like “death” (死). If you are unsure, an odd amount that feels right for your relationship is fine.

How to present it

Give the envelope at the sign-in table when you arrive, where a relative or a member of our staff receives it and records your name in the register (簽名簿). Then sign the guest book. Do not hand the envelope directly to the grieving family, and do not place it on the altar.

If you cannot attend, you may send the envelope with a mutual friend, or mail it to the family after the funeral with a short note of condolence.

The return token (吉儀 / 回禮)

In return, the family gives each guest a small token: usually a white envelope containing a coin (often a quarter or a dollar) and a sweet, and sometimes a handkerchief or a piece of red thread. By custom, the coin should be spent and the sweet eaten before you return home, and the envelope itself is not brought into your house — the token is meant to close the visit and leave the sadness behind.

Some families instead give a small red envelope on leaving, especially at a 喜喪, the funeral of an elder who lived a long life. The same rule applies: use it that day rather than taking it home.

If you are not Chinese

Bringing a white envelope is welcome but not expected of guests who are new to the custom. A sympathy card, flowers sent in advance, or a donation to a temple, church, or charity named by the family are all appropriate alternatives. If you do bring an envelope, follow the guidance above and no one will think twice.

Last reviewed October 2026 by Wah On Funeral Home.