Customs Guide
Flowers, wreaths, and gifts for a Chinese funeral
Flowers are a traditional and welcome way to honor the deceased at a Chinese funeral, and they follow a few customs of their own — in color, in form, and in the words written on them.
Which flowers, and which colors
White and yellow are the colors of mourning. White or yellow chrysanthemums are the classic funeral flower, along with white lilies, white roses, and white orchids. Avoid red flowers and red ribbons altogether, and avoid bright mixed bouquets; a simple arrangement in white, yellow, and green is right.
Wreaths, standing sprays, and baskets
At a Chinese wake, flowers usually take the form of a standing wreath (花圈) or a standing basket (花籃) placed around the chapel, rather than a hand-held bouquet. Each carries two ribbons or a pair of memorial couplets (輓聯): one naming the deceased with an honorific phrase, the other naming the sender. Companies, associations, and groups of colleagues often send one together.
What to write on the ribbon
If you order through us, we will write the ribbons correctly in Chinese, English, or both. A common form is a phrase honoring the deceased on the right-hand ribbon — such as 音容宛在 (“your voice and face remain with us”), 永垂不朽 (“forever remembered”), 駕鶴西歸 for an elder, or 安息主懷 (“rest in the Lord”) for a Christian family — with the deceased's name and title, and the sender's name followed by 敬輓 (“respectfully offered”) on the left. In English, “In loving memory of” and “With deepest sympathy from” serve the same purpose.
When and where to send them
Send flowers to the funeral home so that they arrive before the wake begins; call us for the schedule and we will place them in the chapel. Flowers are not usually sent to the family's home, and they are not brought home by guests after the funeral. After the service, the family may take some arrangements to the grave.
Other gifts
The most traditional gift is the white envelope (帛金) presented at the wake; our guide to white envelopes explains it. Some families ask instead for donations to a temple, church, or charity in the loved one's name; the obituary or the family will say so, and that wish should be respected. Fruit baskets or food are sometimes sent to the family's home in the weeks after the funeral rather than to the wake.
A few gifts are avoided in Chinese custom at any time, and especially in mourning: clocks (送鐘 sounds like 送終, attending a death), sharp objects, and anything in sets of four.
Last reviewed October 2026 by Wah On Funeral Home.
Frequently asked questions
What flowers are appropriate for a Chinese funeral?
White or yellow chrysanthemums, white lilies, and other white flowers. Avoid red flowers and bright colors.
Should I send flowers to the family's home or the funeral home?
To the funeral home, before the wake begins. Call us and we will coordinate the timing and placement.
What do I write on a Chinese funeral wreath?
A phrase honoring the deceased with their name, and the sender's name with 敬輓. If you order through us we will write the ribbons for you in Chinese or English.
Whatever your family’s traditions, we will help you honor them
And we will help your guests understand them. If you have a question about any custom, or about how to blend traditions across generations and faiths, call us. We are glad to explain.